Friday, January 11, 2013

Decoding Boss's Anger Reloaded

Greatest Question Mankind Answered

This blog post is an updated version of the theorem postulated a week back by me. This theorem has been arrived after several rounds of brain storming and keeping in mind all geographies, ethnicities, religions, languages, species, aliens..a universal version of theorem is arrived..and here goes the theorem ..
The risk of getting scolded by a Boss follows a bell curve where the risk is highest at tc.
β is the risk of getting yelled by Boss. Below is the function of the curve.
β = βo + fp(t) x k x θ
How to deal with yelling boss
to is the time when the interaction with the boss starts
ta is the time when the person enters the boss’s cabin :O
tb is the time when the person leaves the boss’s cabin :)
βo = g(x) is a functional of all external factors which are beyond your control, a sample of the factors are like         

1) Fight with his/her spouse
                2) Financial problems
                3) Promotion frustration
                4) Work load
                5) Arrogant Daughter's boyfriend
                6) Constipation..etc

k factor is a factor depending on the other colleagues of yours, whose presence affects your boss's behaviour with you. k takes any value from 0 to infinity.

k=0; The colleague absorbs all radiation - Give him a chocolate buddy :)
k less than 1; The radiation is distributed
k=1; Indifference with the presence of colleague
k greater than 1 ; The presence of your colleague is detrimental to you. Keep away from him using the θ.

θ is a binary factor and its value depends on your decisions.
θ = 1 if you are present in front of your boss.
θ = 0 if you are absent.(You may visit the washroom, the bank, the other office,department or get admitted in hospital as well)

The function fp(t) is a normal curve and is very subjective to the person(a subordinate). So it has to be worked out after many trial and errors only.
One should be very careful between ta and tc during which the damage is maximum.
With this I take the credit again for this noble contribution for mankind as well as animalkind.

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