I never celebrate my birthdays and I don’t feel it is anything to be happy about, because of which many times I even forget my birthdays. Last year, when I
was in Mumbai, my parents reminded me of my birthday.
This year the people here really made my birthday a memorable incident and now I believe birthdays are the unhappiest events for anyone. Yes that was not a spelling mistake, "Unhappiest" in quotes. Normally on birthdays you see all your friends coming to your place for the party, wishing you and presenting you the gifts.
But here more than your friends your enemies are interested on your birthday. Just like in a PC game where in you have many levels, similarily the birthday celebrations here have different levels. The pain level increases as you progress into the next levels. In the first level the specimen is taken to quadrangle or mess top so that it can accommodate a good number of people. The people here are so frustrated with the courses and grades that they look for every reason to vent the frust on someone. And birthday is one such occasion where no one can question anyone. Just like in anyother college the specimen is kicked on the butt(called birthday bumps) till everyone gets atleast one chance, after which follows the actual thing.
In the second level the specimen is slapped with chappals on the butt repeatedly till the person tires out, often they pass the baton to someone else so that the "phat phat" sound continues. Believe me the 10000 wala garland in diwali is not as loud as this one. After this brutal session the specimen would not dare to feel his butt. Along with the specimen the 2 sideys of the specimen also have to undergo the torture for the only the mistake they did in their life is being his neighbours.
Then in the third level the cake and rasagolla arrive. Now dont think the torture has ended here. This indeed is the Icing On The Cake. The birthday cake is smashed on the face of the specimen followed by a rain of rasagollas. Believe me rasagollas may seem to be very soft and sweet but you will realise how hard it can hit when someone throws it on you with real force. As a matter of fact Calcutta is the highest producer of rasagollas. So people here can afford to use them as weapons of mass destruction.
The following was the invite sent to people in the campus, describing the specimen (unknown). It's called fames but none of it is in any aspect fame.
This is kind of a testimonial but purely intended to be blasphemous
~ "? ?" fame
~ LAFOOT fame
~ 'thu nee yabba' fame
~ work from home 'I-Banker' fame
~ got placed in an I-bank in Summers 'Laterals' fame
~ "I HATE Sanjeet Singh" fame
~ works for Al-Quaeda under the fake name 'Ibrahim Al Musaied' from Dubai fame
~ 'Sheikh No-balls-uddin' of *** Saudi fame
~ has a fetish for Jameela... his pet camel in Saudi fame
~ only gets his hair styled by his personal barber from hyderabad fame
~ hasnt got a haircut for three months now fame
~ eternal trader on NSE fame
~ earns money for trips to hyderabad by trading in options fame
~ official ER Secy of Section C fame
~ floated Section C videos on youtube fame
~ used to sit sandwitched between two girls in school fame
~ got caught while giving a 'voice proxy' for a girl in IITM fame
~ second g** partner of Sayan g** Roy fame
~ Claims to know arabic, japanese and bengali fame
~ cant speak more than two words in any of these languages fame
~ too shy to dance with a belly dancer while working in Saudi fame
~ 'Gym Carry' of IITM fame
~ passes out after every drinking session fame
~ Shola's super best friend fame
~ "Shola jo bhadke dil mera tadpe" fame
~ heart-breaker of 10 beautiful orissa girls in Carpe fame
~ Sticking to the wall like Spiderman while drunk fame
~ Macro eco midterm topper fame
~ one week night out for quali maths fame
~ badly in need for internship at Chennai fame
~ unfortunately placed in Bangalore fame
~ 8 weekends ka advanced booking to go to chennai from bangalore fame
~ 'preraaaaaaak' fame
~ extra player in IIMC football team fame
~ athlectics champion from IITM fame
~ potential presi of Adventure club fame
~ max freerider of adventure club fame
~ asked out on a date by a famous PGP1 fame
~ rejected the offer because he wanted to play hockey fame
~ wanted to be a forward in Hockey at Samhaar but when made a defender - RG'ed with the team by giving away a goal fame
~ discovered interesting uses of his 'hockey' stick fame
~ Mess rep of IITM fame
~ 4 years alum of WH messy rep fame
~ WH Mess Rep to HAS after seeing ***RG: 'Yaar, tune abhi thak kuthe nahi pakadvaye?'
~ sleeping in the theatre while watching 'Dark Knight' fame
~ psuedo wingie of 'ANX 110s' fame
~ rarely found in 'Graveyard' fame
~ great escape from the fire in Ankit Anand's room fame
~ please dont write about katrina in my fames fame
~ 'IIT M mai ****RG se poocha gaya ki kaha hoti hai RG ki class, to usmai bhi RG kar ke bola ki RG ki koi class nahi hoti' fame
~ Class mai drawing fame, best cartoonist in class fame
~ invented new game of tetris in class fame
Be there at WH Mess top/NC at 11:59:59 to vent out all your RG frustrations on ****'RG's ass
Sideys on offer: Rishabh 'Chotu' Guptha, Ankit 'Gainda' Anand
Contri's by: Vinod, Sayan 'Gay' Roy, Yusufi 'Hagga' Kapadia, Tharun 'Rambo' 'Shola'Tarzan, Venky the webmaster, Sai'fraudy placerep'Ram, Swade$
Note : I enjoy celebrating birthdays of others :-), specially hitting with rasagollas ;)
Now I say birthdays are no more merrier.